Description

How it started An accidental phone grab during my rehearsal dinner while my fianc went to use the restroom How it ended Reading all the dirty texts between him and my maid of honor aka little sister during our vows in front of the world in what would later be considered one of the most viral wedding videos on TikTok Did I mention his vows were before mine and he compared me to my adopted dog because and I quote Im so loyal My first instinct after exposing his dirty lies was to run up to the clueless rockstar who was supposed to headline my reception and ask him to sing my tears away I never expected him to help me escape certain disaster kiss me senseless and then buy me ice cream But that was all in the pastuntil Im staring down at a wedding invitation from my ex You see he swapped sisters and now a year later theyre getting married at a gorgeous winery while Im still staring down at a plus one wondering if I can bring my pet turtle In desperation I send a drunken text to the hot rockstar with a picture of my turtle in a bowtie Who knew hed show up at the weddingbut get this it isnt to save me Nope its to SING SHE STOLE HIM TOO But now that hes there and Im there and the history is there I beg him one more time to save me this time as my date But lie after lie just keep pouring out of my mouth until were somehow fakeengaged I would laugh if crying didnt feel so good Should have brought the freaking turtle